QuinnDecim's Cleansing
by LadyorSirVirtuoso
Summary: The struggles of a human trying to become an arbitor. Rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I love the show. Thats why this exists. A few story elements are canon, but the rest is original_.

"Thank you for playing...and please be safe on your journey.''

With a gentle bow forward, Decim dismissed the guest who dissapeared behind the elevator doors. There was a 'ding' and then the familiar hum of a descending elevator. I sighed softly, unsure of the judgement they'd been given. Unsureness had once been very plentiful. Now it only presented itself when the white haired arbitor made decisions I didn't agree with.

The guest recently departed had been a middle aged man. Like most others, before the game, he'd been confused, angry, and had searched for a way out. These emotions became acceptance, and then reset as time passed. The acceptance always came from fear of death if our game of judgement is not played.

"Well, what if I don't play your little game?''

Though never said aloud that they would be killed, a press of a button from Decim to reveal what lie behind us(a room full of what appeared to be dead, naked bodies strung up like pigs in a slaughter house) usually had them compliant. With either a look of horror or anger, they would ask;

"So that's what happens to me?'' Or ''So that's it. You'll kill me if I don't play.''

Decim would simply respond, ''That is all I can show you for now. Please take your seat so that we may begin the game.''

Take their seats they did, be it with tears or swears of future vengeance, they all sat down in the end. No one truly wants to die, afterall.

After instructed, they would press the button presented to them and choose their fate. This time it'd been a simple game of old maid, a welcome change from the dart board linked to your anatomy, or the edited air hockey. Even still, the darkness in his soul that we sought to bring out was not there at all. Decim had suggested the circumstances had not been extreme enough, and as a result made a vague threat in reference to the mans family. He'd held up a picture of them.

I didn't understand at first. The man had spoken so highly of his family I'd expected him to shatter on sight at the mere idea of harm coming to them. Instead...eventually he'd begun to laugh. A madmans laugh. One that held sickness.

"You think I give a FUCK what you do to that bitch?'' He'd exclaimed. "You don't know ANYTHING! Sitting there with your passive eyes while you threaten to kill me? FUCK you man!''

I'd remained quiet, my hands in my lap as I watched his inevitable snap. In it, he'd confessed to killing her already. That she was already dead, so ha, what're you gonna do now? Decim hadn't arched an eyebrow. Instead, with his voice calm as water, he'd said, ''Please sit, so they we may resume our game.''

That did it. Cards flew from the table in a violent flurry as he swipped them aside.

"Fuck your game! Fuck you! Didn't you hear what I SAID? I played you all for fools. The same way I played her! Because she fucking played me!''

He was shouting at this point, spit flying as his eyes welled with tears. "She CHEATED on me man! I HAD to!''

"Sir, please calm down and-''

The man grabbed Decim by the collar and slammed him into the wall. He didn't flinch in the slightest.

"What do YOU know, man? Nothing! You think I give a shit if you killed me? The cops are probably all over my house you'd be doing me a favor-''

The sound of beeping filled the room as a timer ran out.

"The game is now over.'' Decim said, making no motion to push the hysterical man off of it. "If you'll please follow me to-''

"Did you HEAR me? I don't give a shit anymore! Go on and kill me!''

Ice blue and impassive eyes stared back as Decim delivered the news that had the man releasing his collar and falling to his knees before him.

"You're already dead. During their time here people are judged, and sent to either heaven or hell. The game helps us decide where. I apologize for my necessary deception.'' He delivered formally with a small bow, as he had thousands of times before. "I am sorry...now if you'll please follow me.''

It wasn't fully true. It was the explanation that sounded easiest to understand. In reality, there is reincarnation and the void. If sent to reincarnation, one's soul would be sent to live in another body and given a second chance at life. If sent to the void, their soul would be forever lost to wander in darkness and torment. Such was the way of Quindecim, the way of being an arbitor of the soul.

The man's face had become one of shocked disbelief as all his memories came rushing back. How he'd caught his wife cheating and plotted his revenge. He'd found more than enough proof, plans for her to run away with him, detailed accounts of them being together, and an entire new phone she'd purchased in secret. He'd gotten her back so good and yet...got sloppy. When the deed was done he'd puked, stumbling about the house in shocked pleasure of what he'd done. He'd ruined her perfect night. And now her lover would come to ruin his. He'd waited at the back porch, rocking in the chair that sat there until the man came jogging up the porch. But as he recalled it, he saw reality. It had been him jogging up the porch to an empty chair. He who had argued with, and then shot himself. He who had killed his wife for cheating on him with one of his many personalities. His hands flew to his temples, and he started to scream.

It was that scream I heard echoing in my head as the elevator doors before me opened again, empty of the man who'd been sent to the void.

"That's it for today you may go back to your room now.''

I looked at the white haired man that towered above me. His expression, as usual, was straight faced and impartial. I offered a smile despite my uneasyness before standing.

''That was the last guest?''

''Yes.'' He said with a slow nod. ''You may go back to your-''

''I heard you the first time.'' I answered, my back now to him as I walked down the hallway past the fountains and decorated walls. Though I couldn't hear his footsteps, I knew he was close behind. It wasn't long before he fell in stride next to me. I continued, my palm turning lazily up as I spoke. ''What about my drink, though?''

''Yes, of course. How could I have forgotten.''

''Tch...'' I turned away as I released the sound of annoyance at his indifference. My voice lowered to a mumble as I folded my arms. ''And here I thought you actually enjoyed our time together.''

Whether he didn't hear or just decided not to respond was something I found myself not caring about as my mind wandered once again to the guest that we'd just finished judging, and to the drink I was soon to have.

'I get these guys can't feel and all but...'

''I am surprised.'' He began.

I felt my eyebrow arch as I used one hand to climb into the bar stool. My eyes wandered the large array of drinks behind him as he continued.

''You are taking to your duties much less...emotionally than other humans have in the past.''

I watched as he prepared a blue drink that I'd grown to look forward to each day after my shift. ''You're referring to the ones who failed at becoming arbiters?''

He gave a slow nod. ''Yes, that's right.''

''Ah, I see.''

My cheek found my fist as I watched him prepare our beverages. It wasn't long before he finished them and had two small glasses filled. I gently lifted the one placed in front of me by its handle before tilting it in a circular motion, the liquid inside just barely touching the edges of the cup as I did so. It was a deep blue and held swirls of orange that didn't mesh with the blue and instead seemed its own separate liquid.

"What's on the menu today?'' I inquired.

"What you're about to drink is a mixture of yesterday's and today's drink.''

I made a face. "So what's is called?''

He thought for a moment as he cleaned his glass. "To yesterday.''

I was about to scoff at the rediculousness before thinking about it. I said it aloud, as if tasting it as I raised my glass.

"To yesterday.''

It sounded abit like a toast, I realized, and smiled.

"I like it.''

"I am glad.''

The room filled with silence. My mind wandered back to the man we'd judged today.

"Hey...Decim...''

"Yes?''

"That guy today...you think something seemed kind of...I don't know...off?''

"Off? What do you mean?''

"Well it just...it doesn't make sense to me that he'd murder his wife in cold blood.''

"But he did.''

I wanted to question further, but couldn't figure out what to say. I didn't have much room dissagreeing with him, considering he always got detailed accounts of the guests memories sent to them before they arrived. Even still...

"You're troubled.'' He noticed. "Is your...humanity affecting your ability to see-''

"It's not that.'' I said quickly, setting my drink down. "It's more...I guess...I think I'd be able to help abit more if I could also see what you saw.''

"I see. You're not the first to have asked.'' He paused ever so slightly as if bothered by a memory and then continued impassively, ''I'll put in a call upstairs.''


	2. Chapter 2

"What's on the menu for today, Decim?''

Though I'd asked, I already knew the answer. The drink in my hand was a deep orange laced with scarlet swirls and topped with a maple leaf. It's name was Aki no Hi, roughly meaning autumn day. The one I'd had the day before, a pink and purple liquid that'd had a wedge of dragon fruit adorning it's rim was named Gemini. Another, I recalled, something smooth and icy in flavor though colorless was named Lost One. Slowly, as I waited for his answer I began to rattle off some of the more interesting drink names I'd heard while being here. If one could be honest, they were starting to become the most striking thing about the bar(outside of the games that took place within it, of course). The constant cold was manageable after awhile. I'd long stopped shivering from what felt like a room that held non-stop air conditioning. It was Decim's lack of conversation had gotten to me. His vagueness when I'd first arrived had quickly grown boring.

Lot's of questions had been either outright ignored or answered with things that could've been easily assumed. It had been quite awhile since I last asked why I was here. An intern to him was the clearest answer I'd gotten so far, and even that had taken effort to find. It didn't take me long to realize that talking with the bartender about drinks was the most fun in terms of conversation one could hope to have here.

''That drink in your hand is named 'Aki no Hi', which roughly translates to A day in fall or fall day.'' He answered in his usual monotone voice.

I couldn't help growing annoyed at the fact that he never mentioned I asked every day. It truly is as if he has no feelings; not even those of irritation. I still have a hard time believing such a thing is possible. Despite this, I raised my glass in thanks with a small smile before taking a long sip. My tongue was covered with the sweet taste of maple syrup and my throat was soon after met with a burning, bitter aftertaste. I couldn't help but sigh, the heat in my chest so intense I may as well had been exhaling steam. What a day It'd been. I raised my glass to my lips again, blocking out memories of today's guest before they could surface.

''I notice you ask the names of the drinks every day. Do you find yourself forgetting them? If you'd like...perhaps in the future I could write them down for you.''

I shook my head no, resting my chin on my fist as I gazed up at him. That'd surprised me. He wasn't one for noticing things outside of doing so while making either drinks or judgments. He nodded to show he understood and I spun around, my back facing him as I took another long sip. How a drink could taste like pure maple syrup was beyond me. Then again, thinking deeper, one could write a novel on the many delicacies offered in liquid form by the Quindecim bar. I arched an eyebrow in thought as I took yet another sip, wondering as I drank if someone actually had.

''Is there a library here?''

''Why do you ask?''

I shrugged, spinning back around to face him. Annoyance coursed through me at the fact that I could never get a straight answer. Perhaps I hadn't truly been broken in my curiosity of things other than drinks. There are times when it seems as though I'd be able to get some kind of information out of him if I play my cards right. Right now is one of them. But how on earth would I be able to learn something from him without his knowledge? I thought on it for a moment before taking another sip, something clicking together in my head. I realized all at once that I watched Decim use the answer to that question every day. That, at least, had been outright explained to me.

 _''The darkness in the soul of the person playing the game must be brought out in full force so that it may be judged by the arbiters.''_

I'd been told this after my first day on the job. Weeks later, it became clear that everyone had their own triggers; ones that seemed to switch them from composed to hysterical. How though, would I go about gaining information from one who literally cannot feel? I lowered my glass back to the table, it's empty clink word enough for Decim to refill it.

''Why not?'' I asked as I watched him concentrate on the drink before him.

"Because it's a strange question.''

"Are you suggesting strange questions should go unasked?''

"Yes.'' He answered, resting the glass back in front of me.

It was so full I feared touching the maple leaf would have the edges spill. Even still, I gave it a gentle lift and sipped once. I stared at Decim who'd begun cleaning glasses.

"What's so strange about asking if there's a library? Is it because books hold so much information?''

Wordlessly, he shook free a white cloth and continued to clean. I almost folded my arms in frustration. Unlike the guests, I refused to lose my temper and snap with the lack of answers. I'd seen Decim's reaction to these, and they were as monotone as the act of reading a boring paper. Speaking of guests...

"Did you ever put that call in? So I can see the memories of the guests as you do?'' I shifted in my seat, suddenly excited.

He looked at the cealing. "Ah...yes. They haven't gotten back to me just yet.''

"Do you know why?''

He shook his head no. I frowned.

"You're lying.''

Though I'd never outright accused him of witholding information, my words did nothing. He didn't even look at me. I grit my teeth for just a moment before sipping once more at my drink. My face was growing warm and I rested my cheek on my fist yet again, just barely holding in a childish groan as I realized he wouldn't answer.

"Okay...well...tell me you at least understand my curiosity.''

''You're curious about many things. I've told you what I can.''

''But that's not _enough!''_

''It must be.''

I gritted my teeth, my eyes shifting around the bar for something, anything that might make him understand. That might make him _feel_ something. They came to rest on something sitting out of lighting, only noticeable if one looks for it. A pair of dull, dead eyes. Before I could gasp, my eyes focused and saw that the eyes were apart of a plastic dummy, one much more detailed than the ones in the room behind the bar. It wasn't naked or randomly hanging about. On the contrary it had long, jet-black hair, and upon closer inspection the eyes weren't dead at all, but a dull yet vivid purple. It wore a purple shirt, black jacket, and a necklace with a bright green gem as it's centerpiece. My eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. What the hell? I glanced at Decim and knew instantly he would probably just shrug and suggest someone had left it there. I leaned further forward as Decim wiped glasses clean and read the name etched into her shirt.

''Chi...yu...ki.''

Decim's eyes raised from the glass and locked on mine. I froze, his gaze so fierce it frightened me. Before I could say the word 'what', my fear grew tenfold when his eyes glazed and pupils moved about the way they would when he was being sent a memory. He ceased to move, the glass falling from his grip to land on the floor with a shrill scream.

''Decim? Decim!''

His eyes locked onto mine, welling with what could only have been tears as he stared at, but past me. His hand rose and grasped out and instinctively I took it into mine. He spoke finally, his voice broken up by what sounded like choked back sobs.

''I'm...so terribly sorry...''

I shook my head, my emotions welling with confused panic for him. I had never seen him anywhere near this level of emotion before. Though I'd wanted it...seeing it this way so suddenly was terrifying. ''For what- I don't...''

His hand tightened with mine and he stared deeply into my eyes, his grip firm and his tone remorseful. It made me think of the guests there that had seen the error of their ways and begged to go back; specifically some suicide cases. The way their faces shifted in horrified sadness of the realization that there truly are no second chances. The denial, the pleas for mercy. My eyes welled with tears despite my best efforts at the memories. What had I done?

He froze suddenly, his hand retracting from mine as if it were made of lava. Decim then grabbed at the side of his head, a set of harsh groans escaping and I raised my hands to my face, completely at a loss of what to do. His eyes squeezed shut and he started to pant softly.

"I had to...'' He whispered, looking as though he were about to fall to his knees. He stared at me, and it was clear he was apologizing to someone long gone. "I'm an _arbiter_...and arbiters judge.''

"Decim...''


End file.
